Game Over.

The Biznasty Jawbreaker Experiment

I've decided to take on the most tedious activity known to mankind. To finish a jawbreaker completely without breaking it, without sucking on it, purely finish it by licks. I will continue to blog about this project until completion. I bought the jawbreaker yesterday afternoon. I will also be keeping tallys on the number of licks, hours, days and weeks it takes to finish this thing.

Day #1: New Jawbreaker, 0 licks:











Day #2: 400 licks, the first bit of color is showing through, it's yellow once you get past white... god it's fascinating.










Background Information:

Jawbreakers are made by slowly depositing layers onto a core (such as a single sugar grain or anise seed). Jawbreakers are made in large, rotating, heated pans. The candies take several weeks to manufacture, as the process of adding liquid sugar is repeated multiple times (more than 100 times over two weeks to make a one inch ball). Color and flavor are also added during the panning process. A 2004 episode of the Discovery Channel television program MythBusters episode subsection named Exploding Jawbreakers then demonstrated that heating a jawbreaker in a microwave oven can cause the different layers inside to heat at different rates, yielding an explosive spray of very hot candy when compressed; MythBusters crew members Adam Savage and Christine Chamberlain received light burns after a jawbreaker exploded





and finally... the process... how a jawbreaker is made... it is possibly the most fascinating candy process ever.

All things biznasty postponed because I'm a damn idiot.

All things biznasty postponed, because, what I've learned this week is that everything stupid one does in life catches up to them eventually, roughly all 8,372 stupid things I've done in my life have all decided to catch up to me this week. I'm fixing all of these damn problems individually, and my life as a biznasty needs to be put on hold.

One of my major problems is that I can't wake up for classes, and it's bad. I continuously sleep through my goddamn classes. So, in order to wake up on time, I will be doing a number of things I have read online and have been suggested from friends.

-Buy a puzzle alarm clock (pieces shoot off and alarm doesnt stop until you put the pieces together
-keep a glass of water by my bed and chug it when I wake up,
-put my phone behind my blinds so I need to open the blinds when I wake up
-tape my normal alarm behind my tv on the wall so I have to struggle to turn it off.

Maybe these things will help, hopefully they will so goddamnn kassar will get off my fucking back (math professor)

Biznasty Late Night

I've decided to create an empire, and that empire is called Biznasty Enterprises. Biznasty is not a word, but a lifestyle. Along with the facebooking, and blogging, in the next 4 months you will be seeing:

This Month!

-Biznasty Radio

-Biznasty Twitter

a facebook Biznasty fanlisting



Coming In November

-an official Biznasty website


Coming In December/January

-Biznasty Online Magazine

-Biznasty Youtube channel



Lots of exciting things are happening in the world of biznasty!

Biznasty in a nutshell.

So... I have been sleep walking every night and buying resses peanut butter cups and eating them in my bed... I keep waking up with dried chocolate on my face and wrappers all up in my bed. I'm using my laundry quarters to do this... this is unacceptable... it really is... I'm about to killa bitch. It needs to stop.

I also am proud to say that I on my own am developing a Boston accent. It's exciting. The key to a Boston accent is, foget all r's in woods, an uh yous gotta say uh afta and, and I. and uh, i uh, and uh add s's to yo yous, and with woods endin in an a (such as idea) add an r at the end, i gotta idear fo what tah do tahnight. if yous have to use an r, its said like Ah, like haaht (fo "heart"). I love the people fom boston and this is not insultin meh fends, i wanna be fom boston too.

I'm officially terrified of Georgia... and all residents of the state

I finished reading Deliverance a few days ago, I had seen the movie, but it'd been years since I had. I now read the book (which was much better), but gave me a new outlook on life; don't talk to people from Georgia! They're scary, they play the banjo, they make people squeal like pigs, and shoot you with guns and fuck with your canoes and shit. Now I get that most of you wont go read the book, or even watch the film, but I urge you not to go to Georgia, because either the banjo people will get you or the real housewives will... both are very scary. Here's a preview for the movie:

I'm watching you. And birthday with franny the tranny.

IM WATCHING ALL OF YOU!
SO! someone was just yelling at themselves so i pressed my ear against the door, naturally. I was seeking a good laugh, and then the door opened... while i was crouched down in front of it with my head against it... now i look like the crazy one. fuck.


and not to mention... last night... around five am I walked into the lobby and some boy who shall remain nameless was dancing by himself... he didnt notice me until I was behind him. Fucking freak. and then, i was leaving my room at like 5:20am to go back to the library and study when I heard a strange "muahahahaha" laugh and some yelling and it was dancing dickwad again running up the goddamn stairs pretending to be some fucking mad scientist. I can't deal with this shit so early in the morning/late at night. So naturally, I stop and i stare at him giving him the dirtiest look ever. Fucker shut the fuck up right then.

Oh and I celebrated my birthday with drag queens. franny the tranny was my waitress. we went to Lips. Go on FB for photos!

Dying in the Land of Crunchy Sluts

I'm dying. That's to put it simply. It all started three weeks ago... I got what I thought was just your average cold, but really it was a cold sent to me by satan himself. motherfucker. I thought we were friends. ANYWAYS. I have like 19 billion upper respiratory infections to slightly exaggerate. It was more like 18 billion. So I was dying and then I like got better cause now im on these antibiotics and have nose spray shit. but for 3 weeks i've been like legit sick. fever of 84 and all. So i've made a little diagram for you guys, so you could see what was going on in my body!!!!






I know... SCARY SHIT, right? Well I'm doing better now, which is chill, but i'll tell you what, while I was on my goddamn death bed those sons of bitches over at that damn "Make A Wish Foundation" wouldn't send me a celebrity to make me feel better... I would've settled for that bitch with 8 kids from that show "John and Kate Plus an Eightball", or like that little whore from icarly.



Oh and so where those crunchy sluts come in... let me just tell you a thing about Florida, it is the only fucking place where the goddamn 50 year old mothers dress sluttier than their hooker-breath daughters. I don't want to go to the mall and see you walking around in stilettos with your spider vein covered legs, and your dry vagina that leaves crusty flakes everywhere because youre not wearing underwear and youre weary a headband for a skirt, and dont let me forget... the saggy boobs... theyre like untied shoelaces, you have to watch where you step. So put on some goddamn clothes and let your daughters be the skanks around town.

The best of facebook status's.

So I tend to use facebook as my twitter. I get all of my shit out on my facebook status's, and I was going through old wall posts with people, and working on my correspondence, and saw some old status's, and decided to post ones here with a lot of feedback.

Yes I was bored today...

Yes

No! I dont have too much time on my hands... so anyways, here it goes:






1.)So it's been a total of 8 hours today that I've been doing school work, and I'm only halfway done with what Im trying to get done with by Saturday. I knew I should have skipped college and gone straight to being a gypsy.

2.)Is donating plasma so I can go to the bahamas this weekend.

3.)is gonna catch a wave. That's right, I'm learning to surf today.

4.)I'm in Miami bitch, literally.

5.)Has finally made it to my new home in the sunshine state.

6.)27's in tennessee... $3.19. Its like heaven but with cancer.

7.)Ciao Minnesota, it's been real. I leave only good wishes behind.

8.)Needs to chill out. And also think clearly. "got a bag I can get off you?"-guy outside gas station "yeah here have this" (as I take my redbull out of my bag and hand him the bag) "uh no I was looking for a sack"-guy finally clicks "are you fucking kidding me? Do I look like I fucking smoke weed?!"-me "uh yeah kinda"-guy

9.)you could pretend that airplanes are shooting stars, but than i'd just think you were a complete dumbass... oh wait, I already do.

10.)"Trevor, what the fuck are you doing?" "Pumping the gas, wtf do you think i'm doing. dumbass." "When you pushed the guy out of the way and grabbed the gas pump from him and said "excuse me, this is my car asshole" did you forget that in Oregon you don't pump your own gas dumbass?" "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. (to the atte...ndent) Sorry! im an asshole, im from minnesota! i swear! heres my license! pump my gas!"

11.)Cigarettes and coffee with a cool clean breeze and an abounding mountainous view.

12.)we slaughtered hundreds. took over the land. now we celebrate. happy 4th.

13.)needs money. will prostitute my body for cash or subway.

14.)im sorry oprah... no you are not the black jesus. get over it.

I am 19.

It's my BIRTHDAY!! Or it was yesterday... but the celebration continues through Sunday morning. I got every scent of Calvin Klein cologne from my mother... too bad you cannot smell it over my cigarette odor (which I love, it's my natural scent), but i still love the gift. As well as some cash... to bad I spend money faster than I can get it. some condoms and a marc jacobs keychain from jess and eric... too bad i hate condoms and I don't have a car here... and i bought myself a Lanvin trench coat... too bad I live in Florida and it's too hot to wear it. I'm not complaining, they are all fantastic gifts, and I love them. I will stop smoking (maybe), I will have a car soon (maybe), I might try wearing condoms again (doubt it, i want a baby) and one day there will be a cold day (that's a joke).

So you might be wondering what the drag queen in that ad is for? Tomorrow night were going to dinner at Lips. Anyone is welcome to come. Dress classy.