Showing posts with label Atlanta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Atlanta. Show all posts

Saturday, October 16, 2010

I'm officially terrified of Georgia... and all residents of the state

I finished reading Deliverance a few days ago, I had seen the movie, but it'd been years since I had. I now read the book (which was much better), but gave me a new outlook on life; don't talk to people from Georgia! They're scary, they play the banjo, they make people squeal like pigs, and shoot you with guns and fuck with your canoes and shit. Now I get that most of you wont go read the book, or even watch the film, but I urge you not to go to Georgia, because either the banjo people will get you or the real housewives will... both are very scary. Here's a preview for the movie:

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Leaving #3 and #4 I'm terrified of the south...

The only good part about the past few days was seeing Mark Twains old house. Whoopidy fucking dooo!!!!!! To start with, wait, I had to fucking crawl through a cornfield and hide just so I could smoke cigarettes! I also hid behind a garbage can at mcdonalds in nashville to do the same. At one point we stopped for gas in a fucking nasty town and the gas station attached to it had a "Big Girls Strip Club" fucking gross. and an Adult Book Store. After leaving this gas station I felt the urge to never eat again and to get checked for STD's PRONTO! Some places just should not exist. Well I completely jinxed myself, because at the next gas station, I had to piss. So I actually had to go in, when i entered the bathroom I was greeted by the rank smell of what must have been a damn hippos shit. Then upon realizing there were no urinals, I proceeded to enter a stall. My mistake. I was greeted by pubic hair, urine, shit stains, and a glorious glory hole. I saw all I needed to see. Oh when I was in Nashville in the ghetto part of town, 3 young gentlemen said "Damn, hes lookin all fresh and shit, with the blazer and all" or something along those lines. So, learning experience here? I fucking hate hicks but the hood loves me. I'm in Boca now, at a nice resort, waiting to pick the roommate up at the airport and then move in tomorrow. I'm content.

P.S. No I did not run into any housewives or Paula Dean while in Atlanta.