A list of the worst things ever, compiled from my mind and the internet.
1.) I'd rather have my entire body wet than just my socks.
2.) It'd feel better if an elephant shit on me than it does to wake up sweating.
3.) The worst thing ever is when you're in the middle of an argument and realize you're wrong
4.) How do you fold a fitted sheet?
5.) Mapquest needs to start on #5, I can get out of my neighborhood
6.) Stop making new music and movie devices, i'm sick of restarting my collection
7.) I hate when word asks if I want to save any changes when I definitely didn't change anything.
8.) Do not machine wash or machine dry means I will never wash it.
9.) When I call you back right away, and you don't answer, where the fuck did you go?
10.) When I text you and you call me... clearly I dont wanna talk, i want to fucking text.
11.) I save some peoples numbers, just so I know to ignore them.
12.) The only time I like red lights is when I need to text
13.) I don't know the difference between boredom and hunger.
14.) Don't make me watch this fucking youtube video. please. do not.
15.) Hi asshole, I held the door for you, how about a thank you, you motherfucker.
16.) I smiled... or said hi... the least you could do is smile or say hi back dipshit.
17.) How many times is it okay to say what before I just smile and nod my head because I still didn't hear you.
18.) I texted you... i definitely never got a reply.
19.) I hate my spastic attacks when I lean my chair back a little too far.
20.) When I'm walking, I hate drivers, when I'm driving, I hate walkers, no matter what, I always hate the guy on the bike.
21.) I hate when I can't remember who just texted me... what time it is... or what someones name is right after they tell it to me.
22.) Don't stare at me bitch, i'll stare back
23.) You're kid is not mentally accelerated, every parent thinks there kid is the smartest fucking 4 year old ever. Well guess what? chances are they will end up retarded, a drug addict, a complete dipshit, or the worst two things a person can be... a fat republican.
24.) No you're baby is not cute, you pushed it out of your cunt and it looks like a goddamn goblin.
25.) no youre baby is not smiling, 1.) it doesn't have fucking teeth, just like metheads, babies are incapable of smiling. 2.) two, it's fucking preparing it's next shot at projectile vomiting and hitting your still recently pregnant fatass.
26.) Wow you named your 14th and 15th children Bonquisha and Mercedez, was the name "I'm going to grow up, have 7 children, live off the government, and suck dick for crack" already taken?
27.) You just cut me off, will you now speed the fuck up!?!
28.) Hi... Nice turn signal cuntface.
29.) Don't ask me if you can come, I would have invited you if I had wanted you to come.
30.) No you may not use my chapstick you aids infested gutter slut.
31.) WOW! you're at mcdonalds! because you don't already weigh 300lbs or anything.
32.) Abortions are necessary to prevent people like you from ever reproducing.
33.) Don't say you love that band, you know the song from that commercial.
34.) Hey douche-rocket. I believe I was in line first, I'm definitely spitting on your sweater without you noticing.
35.) Don't be a bitch waitress to me, that's why I keep pennies in my wallet.
36.) Don't tell me smoking causes cancer, I should be telling you "remarks cause broken noses"
37.) Wear a helmet, you're on a motorcycle.
38.) You're wearing Ed Hardy, were you trying to dress up as a candy wrapper today?
40.) "Thanks for having me over!" Funny... I don't remember inviting you.
41.) Don't ask me for a cig... the 100th time this week.
42.) You're 12... stop flashing your newly acquired pubic hair and nonexistent tits.
43.) I have to take the elevator to the 15th floor, and you press floor two... really you sad fatass motherfucker?
44.) Okay so you were walking two seconds ago, why did you decide to stop right in front of me?
45.) Don't tell me what to do, if I felt like doing what you're telling me to do, i'd already be doing it.
